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French weekly magazines review 01 February 2015

The weeklies cannot agree on the hottest news this week. And, the result is a curious mix, ranging from Beatlemania to prospects for the next French presidential election in two years’ time.

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The oddest offering comes from Le Monde magazine, the cover of which proclaims "a Beatles Special". Pictured on the cover are four stereotypical Englishmen walking down what appears to be a typical English street in single file. Each is wearing a smart dark suit, crisp white shirt and tie and a black bowler hat. Each has a tightly rolled umbrella and is carrying a folded copy the Times newspaper. "Very British", as the French would say.

For younger listeners, the Beatles were four mop-haired lads from Liverpool whose rock and roll music took the world by storm in the 1960s. They split up a decade later. Two of the four have been dead for some time. The wittiest and most abrasive, John Lennon, was shot and killed in New York City in 1980. The most spiritual, George Harrison, died of cancer 2001. The prettiest, Paul McCartney, and Ringo Starr, the funniest and ugliest, are still making music today.

"Beatlemania is still alive", Le Monde informs us. Which is news to me. In fact, it's safe to say that it's utter nonsense. Those of us who remember Beatlemania know that it was mostly about crowds of hysterical, teenage girls screaming the name of their favourite Beatle. Le Monde's excuse for the story is that McCartney still hopes to recover the rights to their music, most held by a subsidiary of the Japanese giant Sony.

The magazine is to be congratulated on an astonishing array of photographs of the group, from the sublime to the ridiculous. But they do go on a bit. For page after page after page. Just when you think you reached the end, there's a photo of Harrison accompanied by the addresses of websites from which you can buy the hat, shirt and watch he is wearing. One assumes the items are new and not pilfered from poor George's estate.

A more revealing and amusing tale in Le Monde is headlined "Politics on the march". It follows leading French politicians and some 40 visiting foreign leaders and dignitaries on the day of the march in Paris in mid-January to mourn the dead in the Charlie Hebdo slayings and affirm national unity.

It includes some delicious vignettes. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu being helped into his bullet-proof vest and asking French President François Hollande whether the bus ferrying them to the march is bullet-proof and whether the buildings overlooking their route have been checked. "Yes, yes," Hollande tells him. In fact, the bus was not bullet-proof and the security forces had not conducted thorough searches.

At the march itself, the protocol was confused. To some, perhaps all, of the political celebs it was a photo-opportunity not to be missed. Hollande, German Chancellor Angela Merkel and other heads of state were guaranteed places in the front row of the march. Others, such as France's former President Nicolas Sarkozy and the Mayor of Paris Ann Hidalgo, were not. Le Monde tell us that both wormed their way forward at some point. Or, in Sarkoy's case, "moved forward like a salmon swimming against the current".

It's possible that Hollande and Sarkozy will be rivals for the French presidency again in 2017. Possible but by no means certain.

Marianne pictures another of the presidential wannabes on its front cover, with the headline "Marine Le Pen at 30 per cent!"

The paper has the results of an exclusive opinion poll it commissioned. If the first round of voting for president were held today, Le Pen, the pugnacious leader of the right-wing Front National would be the winner. Only Sarkozy, of the mainstream right UMP, comes close, with 23 per cent. Hollande trails them with 21 per cent.

Still, poll findings for the second round of voting tell a different story. Hollande, Sarkozy and Prime Minister Manuel Valls would all defeat Le Pen in the deciding round by between 10 per cent, Hollande, and 20 per cent, Sarkozy and Valls. Oddly enough, Le Pen may be Hollande's best hope. The projections show him losing to Sarkozy and to Alan Juppé, a former foreign minister expected to challenge Sarkozy to become the UMP candidate. Don't get too excited. The elections are more than two years away.

Still, Le Figaro magazine thinks now is as good a time as any to ask Juppé what he'll bring to the party. He's there on the cover, looking pleased with himself. Without doubt Juppé, currently mayor of Bordeaux, is more relaxed and less aggressive than Sarkozy. Le Figaro tells us that he launched his campaign this week, travelling France to listen to

voters and giving his first major interview since the jihadist attacks in Paris to - yes, you've guess it - Le Figaro magazine.

Naturally, he has opinions on everything. One that might excite controversy is his opposition to the policy known as "assimilation". The long-standing belief in France is that all immigrants, whatever their race, colour or religion, must accept the laws and values of the republic. They must become French! Juppé tells Le Figaro this "ignores our differences, wants to make everyone the same as everyone else and is a nonsense".

It will be interesting to see how Juppé scores in the next opinion poll.
 

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