French weekly magazine review 8 May 2016

Would Europe be better off if the United Kingdom decided to leave? Opinions are divided, but there's more than a hint that a British exit will simply accelerate an already inevitable decline. How dangerous is the North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un? What does Woody Allen think about life after death? And are we turning into a  bunch of self-obsessed hyper-narcissists?

DR

What would Europe be like without the English? That's the question posed by this week's edition of Le Point, as France's cross-Channel neighbours get ready to vote in a referendum on whether or not to stay in the EU.

If they leave, will it be a tragedy or a blessing for the rest of us?

As you might have guessed, it's a big question and there are a variety of answers.

US President Barack Obama thinks it will be a tragedy for everyone, to such a degree that he recently made a trip to London to warn Her Majesty's subjects that, if they leave, the United States will not be making any special concessions in terms of trade quotas and tarrifs. They'll be on their own.

Le Point reminds us that French political icon Charles de Gaulle didn't want the British to be let in in the first place and that his cross-Channel counterpart, Winston Churchill, thought a united Europe was a great idea, provided the United Kingdom was not involved.

So the debate is not new.

What is new, according to Le Point, is the strange silence of François Hollande, Angela Merkel, Jean-Claude Junker, the president of the European Commission. Even the French economy commissioner, Pierre Moscovici, is giving his vocal chords a rest. Britain is being left alone with a decision which will affect all of us. And Europe appears to be paralysed.

What is certain is that the French and German authorities, along with the European Central Bank, are working on the basis that the UK's departure will provoke an economic earthquake, mainly because of the importance of the City on the world financial stage.

But Britain is not in the euro, has its own immigration policy, is not part of the banking union, has a cut-rate deal on its European contributions and can accept or reject EU treaties at will.

They are not really members as things stand, suggest some, so we might be better off without them?

Especially since a UK decision to stay will surely encourage the eurosceptical governments in Poland and Hungary to negotiate their own opt-out agreements.

Finally, says Le Point, the game may be up for Europe anyway, with the dream of free circulation undermined by the fear of terrorism and refugees, the common market wracked by self-interested nationalism, the common currency going down the tubes.

Historians may well come to consider the British exit as a symptom rather than a cause of the collapse of the European Union.

Can't buy me love!

Weekly satirical paper Le Canard Enchaîné reports that Patrick Drahi, the man who owns a phone company and a media empire, was recently asked how he felt about being in debt to the tune of 36 billion euros.

"Money is not important," he wonderfully replied. And of course, he's right. From a certain point of view, money is actually quite vulgar.

The most dangerous haircut on the planet

Le Nouvel Observateur gives the front-page honours to North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un, calling him "the most dangerous man on the planet".

It's not just his weight problem, his chilling smile, or his hair style, the latest in a seventy-year line of Kims has an atomic arsenal at his disposal and could well be sufficiently deranged to actually use it, according to some experts. If he's an international clown, nobody is laughing anymore.

Who is he?

It's not easy to say. Le Nouvel Observateur can do no better than tell us that Kim is 33, likes pop music and kung-fu movies, not to mention brandy and caviar. He suffers from diabetes and high blood-pressure. But the latest Kim is also described as extremely intelligent and fearless. Having ousted two older brothers in the battle for succession, he's a man used to doing what it takes to get what he wants. Everyone agrees that he's dangerous. No one is sure to what extent.

One expert in L'Obs says Kim could be tempted to explode a high-altitude nuclear bomb over the South Korean capital, with a view to paralysing Seoul's electrical system. The United States has already installed missile shields in Alaska and California, just in case.

The man with the bad haircut seems to want some kind of federation with the south, as well as a lot of international food aid. But no one is really sure. Since he took up power in 2011, Kim Jong-Un has met practically nobody at the international level, not China's Xi Jinping, or Russia's Vladimir Putin.

L'Obs thinks he should get out more.

Meet and greet

Le Point looks at the changing ways in which people get to meet their partners. In the United States, most people are still introduced to their beloved by mutual friends, with university another good meeting place. Churches are losing their impact, bars remaim stable and dependable. But the real growth area is the internet, with web dating surging from zero in 1980 to its current share of about 22 percent of all partner meetings.

Woody worries about the afterlife

Woody Allen is in several of this weekend's magazines because his latest film Café Society has been chosen to open the film festival at Cannes. He's 80 and still good for a pithy one-liner.

Asked by L'Express if he believes in life after death, he says "Yes, but will I be able to get into the good restaurants?"

On the Jewish family, theme (again!) of the latest film, Woody says "Jews don't believe in the existence of Hell. That's why they invented parents."

Selfies and other selfishness

Marianne looks at the contemporary surge in self-obsession, as exemplified by "selfies", personal blogs and Twitter accounts full of banal trivialities. We live in an era of hyper-narcissism, in case you were wondering, and, since social media have shown us the stars of politics, the media, sport, culture and the economy in all their too-human fraility, the logical conclusion is that we too, sharing that frailty, can also partake in the benefits of stardom.

The only thing Andy Warhol got wrong was the 15 minutes.